Yes , I knew it all along . The question , regardless of when it would be posed , had to be answered . It was only a matter of time before one of us would ask that .
Yet , why is it that I feel so unprepared ? Why is it that I feel so lost now ?
We wrote a prelude to our fairy tale . If the ending was unknown , then this would be a vital choice .
No one likes bad endings , but not all endings can be happy .
As I read through all your messages , I realized how close we've become . True , I don't know all your secrets , and you don't know all of mine . But there is trust . I trusted you , just as how you've trusted me . I've never doubted you before , and I don't think I ever will .
You are a workaholic . By definition , a workaholic is one who loves to work - someone who is addicted to working . By reality , you are you - a self-professed workaholic , a lazy person , an emotional soul , and an understanding individual .
So never , ever say you are a workaholic , because workaholism is not the same as working hard .
YOU , are someone who works hard , someone who works effectively , someone who works with a heart .
We wrote a prelude to our fairy tale . If the ending was unknown , then this would be a vital choice .
No one likes bad endings , but not all endings can be happy .
As I read through all your messages , I realized how close we've become . True , I don't know all your secrets , and you don't know all of mine . But there is trust . I trusted you , just as how you've trusted me . I've never doubted you before , and I don't think I ever will .
You are a workaholic . By definition , a workaholic is one who loves to work - someone who is addicted to working . By reality , you are you - a self-professed workaholic , a lazy person , an emotional soul , and an understanding individual .
So never , ever say you are a workaholic , because workaholism is not the same as working hard .
YOU , are someone who works hard , someone who works effectively , someone who works with a heart .
YOU , are not unproductive , mindless , nor soul-less .
I am a lazy person . I hate to work . But , when the time comes , I work hard . If you work hard all the time , that only means your consistency is admirable , your determination is worth praising , and your strength is something that people should look up to .
Negligence . If you work hard , there is bound to be complete focus and little time for anything else . Yes , that is the truth , no one can change that . Only 2% of humans on Earth can multi-task , and that's because their brain is specially wired for them to do so . You're not one of the 2% , and so focusing is only natural . That is great ! Because only with focus , and hard work , can you accomplish much in life . You asked me if I was alright with you neglecting me , I said I would be fine .
Not true . What if I had asked you that exact same question ? In order to please the ears of the person , you'll probably give the same answer at the spur of the moment . However , deep inside you , you'll be saying the opposite . No one likes to be neglected by the ones they love . Similarly , I would not like to be neglected by you .
But , if you are the one working hard , and in the process leaving little time for other commitments , that is not called negligence to me . Should I force you to take time off your work for me , true that we would have companionship , true that physically , we would be together . I would be neglecting you . Oxymoron-ic , isn't it ? Because by us being together and you leaving your work uncompleted , I am not giving a thought about you , about your grades , about your future . THAT , is real negligence on my part .
So , please don't ever say you are neglecting me . Because you aren't .
I am a lazy person . I hate to work . But , when the time comes , I work hard . If you work hard all the time , that only means your consistency is admirable , your determination is worth praising , and your strength is something that people should look up to .
Negligence . If you work hard , there is bound to be complete focus and little time for anything else . Yes , that is the truth , no one can change that . Only 2% of humans on Earth can multi-task , and that's because their brain is specially wired for them to do so . You're not one of the 2% , and so focusing is only natural . That is great ! Because only with focus , and hard work , can you accomplish much in life . You asked me if I was alright with you neglecting me , I said I would be fine .
Not true . What if I had asked you that exact same question ? In order to please the ears of the person , you'll probably give the same answer at the spur of the moment . However , deep inside you , you'll be saying the opposite . No one likes to be neglected by the ones they love . Similarly , I would not like to be neglected by you .
But , if you are the one working hard , and in the process leaving little time for other commitments , that is not called negligence to me . Should I force you to take time off your work for me , true that we would have companionship , true that physically , we would be together . I would be neglecting you . Oxymoron-ic , isn't it ? Because by us being together and you leaving your work uncompleted , I am not giving a thought about you , about your grades , about your future . THAT , is real negligence on my part .
So , please don't ever say you are neglecting me . Because you aren't .
Next year , which is approaching in .. 3 days approximately , is indeed going to be jam-packed with activities . Homework , Nationals and Exams . It will be stressful , painful , tiring , and no doubt , worrying . No matter what , we will go through the year . Surviving is going to be tough but when you look at seniors , they seem to be unchanged after going through that ordeal . It was the same as O levels , was it not ? Everyone thought they were not going to make it though Sec 4 , but in the end , everyone emerged alive , victorious , and euphoric .
It is the same for next year , only tougher .
My heart longs for your company , and my brain prompts me to think carefully .
Honestly , I don't know what to do . I don't know what the best decision is , what outcome it will turn out to be , and what happens after that .
I love you .
And so , being the selfish , immature , blur , idiotic person I am , I have a suggestion .
Getting together now as a couple is no doubt , out of the question . Short-lived happiness will not get us anywhere in this case . However , breaking apart from each other , for me it would be heart breaking . It will hurt , badly . I'm not trying to give you a picture of me feeling sad , dejected (even though that is happening now).
I love you .
I was thinking , what if we didn't get together , but maintained this closeness ? It sounds impossible , because of all the gossiping and whatnot that will blaze through the close-knit community of the school . What I'm trying to say is : we ONLY go out with each other when time permits , and the outings that we go out together can be partially used for completing homework/studying . And on these outings , bottled-up emotions can be poured out , accumulated stress released , long-lived love strengthened . I don't care what others say about us , because it isn't about their opinion but ours . I'm sorry , this is really selfish of myself , to be suggesting so much , but not even giving you a chance to voice your own suggestions/objections .
I love you .
In school , we will have our own timetables , our own circle of friends from our classes , our own time for revision and work . That has always been the case . But I'll always be there for you . Your daily worries , inner miseries - I'll take them all . Approach me , drag me away , and tell me your problems . Because your problems , are also my problems , and solving them with two heads is always better than one .
I love you .
In this way , we won't be officially attached , nor will we be detached from each other . However , me treating you like a good friend isn't possible , because I have already fallen for you . For you - are the miracle in my life .
I love you .
I'm sorry for making you read through this wall of text . It must have taken up approximately 5 minutes of precious time . I have given thought , considered and finally came up with this .
'The one who loves you will make you weep' . It is true . Cried , yes I have done that already .
Thank you for always being so understanding . My feelings - I wish they've reached you .
I love you - as you have always loved me .
It is the same for next year , only tougher .
My heart longs for your company , and my brain prompts me to think carefully .
Honestly , I don't know what to do . I don't know what the best decision is , what outcome it will turn out to be , and what happens after that .
I love you .
And so , being the selfish , immature , blur , idiotic person I am , I have a suggestion .
Getting together now as a couple is no doubt , out of the question . Short-lived happiness will not get us anywhere in this case . However , breaking apart from each other , for me it would be heart breaking . It will hurt , badly . I'm not trying to give you a picture of me feeling sad , dejected (even though that is happening now).
I love you .
I was thinking , what if we didn't get together , but maintained this closeness ? It sounds impossible , because of all the gossiping and whatnot that will blaze through the close-knit community of the school . What I'm trying to say is : we ONLY go out with each other when time permits , and the outings that we go out together can be partially used for completing homework/studying . And on these outings , bottled-up emotions can be poured out , accumulated stress released , long-lived love strengthened . I don't care what others say about us , because it isn't about their opinion but ours . I'm sorry , this is really selfish of myself , to be suggesting so much , but not even giving you a chance to voice your own suggestions/objections .
I love you .
In school , we will have our own timetables , our own circle of friends from our classes , our own time for revision and work . That has always been the case . But I'll always be there for you . Your daily worries , inner miseries - I'll take them all . Approach me , drag me away , and tell me your problems . Because your problems , are also my problems , and solving them with two heads is always better than one .
I love you .
In this way , we won't be officially attached , nor will we be detached from each other . However , me treating you like a good friend isn't possible , because I have already fallen for you . For you - are the miracle in my life .
I love you .
I'm sorry for making you read through this wall of text . It must have taken up approximately 5 minutes of precious time . I have given thought , considered and finally came up with this .
'The one who loves you will make you weep' . It is true . Cried , yes I have done that already .
Thank you for always being so understanding . My feelings - I wish they've reached you .
I love you - as you have always loved me .
