Carpe Diem

There once lived a boy who always felt that he was alone, as though something was missing from his life. As any other lonely day, he trudged on in the infinite wastelands, whereby rats scuttled by having their little races of speed and power. He looked up, and saw the gloom of the grey clouds shrouding the skies. He sighed, and resumed to plod laboriously in the desolate and never-ending landscape around him.

A beacon of light ! That was what kept him going. All he needed was some light in his life. 'Ohh how I wish that light could be with me so I needn't traverse this place just to see it."

Panting and exhausted, he put forth his right foot and dragged himself to the most western part of the land, that was where the beacon could be found. Alas, while the beacon was there, there was no brightness, no warmth. It was just stone cold, with it's looming pillar standing solitary in the area. "Strange, I've been here many times but it usually is pretty bright. There's even a food store there which no one ever uses." He was curious, and a little sad, for that guiding light which was always switched on and illuminated the darkness hitherto now, was presently a dull structure.

Movement ! Footsteps ! He shuddered with the thought of the armed robbers and thieves. Then he saw, that they were one, two, no maybe a small group of figures moving in and out of the light tower. They carried strange looking devices, with boxes that made little clattering noises when they knocked against each other.

"What are they doing?" Thoughts flooded his mind. "Were they the ones who caused this, to take my light away?" Deluged with questions and uncertainties, he watched a little more, with his unhappiness growing each time there was a little knock here and there.

He waited. For so long, had that same tower been shut off. It has been, let's see, five years now. Still, the boy waited for his light. Patiently, he always revisited that same western region of the wastelands. The rat race still continued incessantly, whereby the weaker rats were instantly overwhelmed by the powerful ones. He lifted his head, and the light was once more reaching his eyes. It warmed his heart, and made his eyes well up. It was a different light.

It was brighter, yet it was a comfortable sort, and with authority and power it controlled the landscape. The darkest places were lighted up, and the shadows in hiding were dispelled. The oppressive atmosphere had disappeared, and once more, no he couldn't say that - the desolate world he had been living in was finally replaced with happiness, with warmth.

Now he understood. The 'bad' people he had once labelled them as, were making changes to the light tower, making it shine brighter and lighting up not just the nearby areas, but everywhere else where the light could travel.

He looked up at the sky. It was bright. His future no longer seemed bleak.

Smiling and re-embracing the light once more, he stood up, and strode towards the light.

You light up my world like nobody else :) 

The Resolving Conclusion

Just 1 more day, and everything will return to me :)
All this time spent waiting was definitely not wasted, since it made me realise that I should never take things or even people for granted. Well, ok in short it made me realise how much I miss you :P

Today, was a long one. Met the usual guys at ishimura and there we had lunch. And ok we did feel guilty but we still went bowling instead of going to check in with the rest of the guys :/ bowling was fun as usual and yay ! I can finally maintain around 120 so that's an achievement for me at least :D !

Ohh, and we were then 4 hours late LOL. So the gorilla quickly went to the nearest NTUC to buy drinks (alcohol) for the entire chalet, and we cabbed there for free ! (courtesy of gorilla) and to top it off as to how lucky we were, it began pouring the moment we stepped into the chalet.

And then we realised that we were the only SH2 guys who were there since the rest were stuck at downtown east. - -

Hmm, basically the chalet was just about playing cards, eating catered food, playing games on the single tiny teevee in the living room, and drinking the vodka and other alcoholic drinks which gorilla bought (no I did not partake in the last activity).

And after whatever just happened (someone puked and staggered and slumped to the ground and peed all over the toilet floor, I can only say that I will never, ever drink unless necessary like a toast from an important person at a ceremony or a wedding dinner. (it was disgusting but it made me feel sad at the same time)

Yup but alright. This isn't the time for complaints or anything, and sorry for not having any visual entertainment this time round because I'm posting this with my phone :((

One more day, and everything will return to me :)) rest well and have a safe trip home :D !

Falling Action

Day 6. that leaves 2 more days :)
It's a little late but Happy Special Day :)) !
Let's postpone the celebration till the day when you can go out again !
Yup, can't wait much longer already :D

Alright, today was unproductive as usual. What's new Aikeen. Hmm, woke up quite late today so at least the morning was spent doing something productive like sleeping. Watched youtube videos, logged in to maple to collect the daily awards, nua-ed and just stoned. In short, I was really rotting away at home. Terrible indeed, since I wanted to go out but didn't in the end. At least I have a consolation with the chalet tomorrow which I'm actually looking forward to (no not because there's free food or anything :P) Hope there'll be lots of people going it'll be more fun ! Ohh, and I shall abstain from alcohol tomorrow. Made up my mind super firmly already about no alcohol unless they're for special occasions like weddings or formal dinners. And anyway I've a task to do and that is to be the 'guardian' of Seven in case he gets drunk. Shall prepare a few plastic bags in case he really does throw up :/

And later will be the last time I see a certain someone since he's going in early for an extra 2 months of training in the army. It must really suck for him since he only had 9 days of relaxing. Oh well, shall get him a cup of koi tomorrow since he did help me with stuff along the way ever since sec three. All the best !

Shall end off this post since there really isn't much to talk about my day - since it had practically nothing interesting happening at all. But tomorrow will be a more eventful one (hopefully) and yup, I'll update again then :)

Here's something to laugh a little at :D ! Pretty cool actually but you might have watched it already :O

Just 2 more days. I will wait for you, for you have always done so for me :) 

Beginning of the Resolution

With Day 5 gone, with the wind, that leaves 3 more days :)
It's getting so exciting - the wait that is.

Strange. Just five days ago, I was dreading the wait. Well alright, it was and still is draggy but now that the beginning to an end is drawing closer, the mood has certainly picked up a little ! :)

Today.. if I could use a single word to describe it, it would be 'reminiscing'. Not that I was reflecting deeply or remembering the past, just that the lazing around seems so secondary-school-like. Just lying on the bed for hours on end with the laptop on my fat laps and surfing videos from cats to games to funny videos. I think only lunch and dinner saved me from rotting away in the room since it wasn't homemade.

Re-patched Maple and actually played quite a fair bit today (disappointed in myself) so I shall go out for some fresh air tomorrow instead ! Ohh, and I finally managed to get around to washing my bags and shoes since they were all muddy and grubby. And the LOO omgosh, first time actually bending over and scrubbing with a brush and water. Ended up with a slightly cleaner toilet but a sore arm and tired back. Sighhhh I must be getting old :/

Yup I should spare you the details of the filth and grime stuck on the walls so here's something lame to make up for the lack of details :P

Imagine yourself being surrounded by a whole group of sharks out at sea. How would you try and save yourself ?

Ohh, and here's another something which you could just watch IF you have time :P His presentation was really neat and thought-provoking ! :O

According to him, there are more stars than any words which people have spoken collectively through the ages. Yet in that overwhelming number of stars, I found you. :)

Rest well and take care ! Just 3 more days :D

'Stop imagining' and there you will see the answer to the lame riddle. :P

Confluence of the Climax

Day 4 , 4 more days until you return :) 

The wait is so annoying but still, I will wait for you. 

Today, began with a shocking truth that it didn't rain in the afternoon. Probably the most boring and time-wasting day in this week so far. Woke up earlier and slacked longer. Was supposed to go back to the hotel with the fballer guys but decided not to since they'll probably still be recovering from the drinking. Patched Maple again and I'm back to leisure playing again. It managed to successfully keep me occupied and interested for like .. 2 hours with the new class. And then it got boring again. 

Well, at least it's free. :P

Met up with the four guys at around 1 plus at marina for lunch and bowling. But it ended up with them playing pool until 4. On the bright side, lunch was really nice ! The hainanese chicken rice there was gooood ! It costed just four dollars but the portions were generous. Went to the arcade side of the pool place by myself since it was a two-versus-two pool game between the four fballers. Cleared one entire gameplay of Tekken 5 and KOF'02 before going back - only to find that they were still playing. Woah. 

At least we still did managed to go bowling in the end. And not one or two, but four games ! :) 

Well it was pretty funny since Seven didn't even realise he was standing at the wrong position to bowl until the third game. And right from the start, mrahbeng was trying to imitate the pros by curving the ball. He did succeed a few times, and it was quite comical since he would release and totter as if he was about the fall down. And finally the gorilla got his aim of >200 on the fourth round (which he demanded to have since he was so determined to break the barrier). Yup overall it was rather fun and time-wasting so it kind of fulfilled both criteria!

Here's the picture which we took of the scores after the last round:

You name the day

And I will pick the city

We'll fly away

Til' then call me when you miss me.

This is so relatable now :) <3 Take care ! :D

Rising Action

Day 3, and the longing to just see you keeps increasing :(

Today was a relatively lazy day compared to yesterday, with the morning spent with my computer watching animals and people do funny things like fails. Went out later to meet the mosquito at Ishimura since he didn't eat yet. Got some sushi for myself since dinner was going to be a heavy one with the buffet at Merchant Court :O !

After that, we went to Timezone for a while before heading down to Clarke Quay where we managed to find the way to the hotel with very unreliable directions from Seven with an L. Well ok, at least the general directions were correct. It was a cozy suite but I guess with the fballers inside the room, the atmosphere was completely ruined with noises which can be likened to a hundred ostriches getting strangled by a rope or something.

And the Rum was completely dead to the world on the bed. Apparently he got really drunk last night and completely lost himself and puked all over his class chalet. And he had excreted blood today, even though he was able to supposedly hold his liquor well. Precisely why I'll never understand why people like to drink. Oh well it isn't for me to say, since I have bad habits of my own.

Played Xbox for a while with the guys (Fifa 12) and then passed the controller on when they switched to Halo so I just fiddled with whatever I could find in the room. Sad life lol. Yup but at least we reached late so there was only 3 hours to spend doing nothing before dinner. Heard many stories about how the other guys spent their holidays so far, and somehow, 75% of them seem to have gone clubbing on their own. Woah. But I'm still not going :)

Hmm .. and dinner was full. The choices were much less compared to the one at MBS but I guess it was considerably good nonetheless :P

Here's some pictures to sum up the day's activities:

It's just five more days
But why does it seem so long
I miss you so much <3

Hope you're enjoying your trip at least :D Smile :) 

Introduction

Today.. was a rather exciting, yet slightly sad day. Went out with the usual clique, and this time to the zoo! :O Ok it was expected since we got a little tired of just going to the movies or eating. 

Woke up late today and so I was (obviously) late in meeting them. And so they left without me for the zoo and left me stranded outside for half an hour whilst they caught the sea lion performance :/ Well it was disappointing, but I guess it was my own fault for always being tardy. Went in soon after and discovered that the entrance fee was $25 (WOAH) and that already made me worried, but managed to get a little gift for you :) and also for lunch at KFC. Oh, and right after that, I found out that we had an enthusiast amongst us who volunteered for one of the performances LOL. The video was already so funny without the sound, so I can't imagine it with the audio! 

Hmm, we hung around the gift store for a rather long time before collecting our primate from the entrance gates(he was late too), and off we went on our little adventure. Took group photos and we went to see the Asian side of the zoo. That included the white tiger, monkeys and apes, as well as the lazy hippo (ok I'm being lazy here since we obviously saw much more animals but these were the more impressionistic ones :P) Yup and not forgetting the Panda exhibit which was.. overrated actually? Well ok we did get to see them, but one of the two was sitting down and not even moving. And the other one just walked in circles. - - I think the red panda was more fun to watch since it climbed overhead us, yet few tourists were interested in non-JiaJia and non-KaiKai :( So we gave them some attention and quickly moved on to the exterior (which killed us because the exhibit inside was so cold but the outside was blazing). 

And then the weather turned bad. :/ So we didn't have much of a choice but to make our way across to the kiddy section where there was KFC and yes, the kiddy splash area. The thunder boomed and we gave up trying to play in the pool immediately. KFC was an expensive affair with each one spending close to $10 since the prices were like O.O (but it was good). 

After eating, it was still raining heavily but that didn't quell our adventurous spirits so we DRENCHED OURSELVES BY WALKING WHILE IT WAS STILL RAINING. Brilliant. Oh, and the umbrellas didn't help at all since I shared the cover. So in the end no use. And my shoes are ruined so I shall wash them tomorrow :( 

Haha and to think we still went bowling after that. Woah, hats off to us seriously ! Oh well we still can't reach the primate's level since he's just too good. 

And so, that ended our last clique outing together, since the yak is returning to her homeland and might not return till next year to collect the result slip. :/ Yup, these are the photos of the near past :) 

And to the one and only reading this,I have been thinking of you,
And how you make me feel.  

Come home soon :) <3
Just six more days :D 

Prologue

Ahh yes back to blogging again for me. It's been a while (ok a rather looooong while) since I last posted something.

Let's not dwell too much on the pre-A's period, since it was mostly study, mug, read notes, slack, eat, sleep, school-school-school. Well alright there isn't much change now, since eating, slacking and sleeping still take up the bulk of my - Our time. :P

\O/ Yay A's are over and it seems so surreal! It seemed just yester-yonder when we were counting down to 100 days, then 50 days, and suddenly it zoomed past like a bullet (pew-pew) train! :D Well except for the last week which dragged on forever.

A's was pretty ok, the process was great, the people and time spent with one was really great, and the exams itself wasn't life-sucking, and prom was great. Life is great. Pardon my limited vocabulary since is isn't as great as it used to be. Great. :/

BON VOYAGE ! :) Not for me (nahh I'm staying put on this little island) but for the one who landed safely in another land :D

Today - Is the present. And I like presents. Boring would be a little harsh, boring it shall be then. Woke up earlier than expected to a start for the longest eight days ever, which is now seven :) Went out early to meet up with the secondary school guys and well, it was a sad affair since there were only four of us. The rest.. TSK TSK still can wake up at 11 am and 1 pm one :O Made it a point to try to be with them, because one of them's going in earlier for NS and it would suck if no one wanted to hang out with him to play basketball and slack so I dedicated a few mornings to him already :)

No one likes feeling lonely, and no one ever should be.

After the sad yet exhausting game, it was lunch at Bishan North (awesome place yeah) and I think we got lazy so we took the bus to amk (oh yeah we probably stank up the bus as well). Bumped in Small-boy-Lee on the escalator and apparently he was going to go out with his other SJI friends so I guess at least he has a good life too. Reached home, slacked, slacked, sleep, woke up, and left for the most rushed 3 hours of the day.

Went to pick up a CacheCashe plastic bag behind some pots ;P , traded back a room card key ;P , and rushed back down to meet SammySam to return him his $$$$$$$$. Ran back to the mrt station to go meet the mum for dinner right after that. And back home I am, rotting away at home and now in front of this white screen. Guess this is the life without my favourite company :))

Yup it'll be a long week, but I'm looking forward every day :D Take care, rest well! <3

Cheers. :)



MUST WATCH ! :D Since you saw a few of them :) It'll make your early morning a better one at least :)

Walking the past once more
How much had I longed for
The decade and a half of you
Now fogs - no more I knew
Misfortune which you bring
Is now gone with the wind-

Wherever you are in this world of despair , having faltered not once , twice , but thrice , Godspeed be with you .

I believe time will find you .

Trade anything for a Wish

Just another song that's really optimistic and all .

It isn't exactly very melodious but still , just hearing it gives me a sense of .. optimism . Hopefully anyone who's feeling down will stand up and continue walking on the path of life .

Finished praying at church already . Wishing that everything will go smoothly . Stay strong .

Enjoyable Sorrows

These 2 weeks have been really tiring . Not sure why too but oh well , I guess it gets worse from here .

Next week is definitely worse , with a friendly with RV on Wednesday , and Tenses at NUS on saturday , not to mention rushing out homework along with the two geography projects . And there's going to be yet another increase in intensity during training for nationals . Plus a whole lot of other issues .

Please let me pull through this .

Yet in this period of craziness , I've learnt to find solace and hope in my friends . Nahh , I'm not talking about the sad stuff like what you might expect (me crying and sobbing in the corner and then suddenly my friends save me from the despair) , but rather , being able to constantly RELY on them for moments of fun . Mind you , it's genuine fun , not those instances of putting up a smiley facade . And I cant smile normally for nuts - I'm un-smiley by default :l

Ok that's besides the point .

Saturday was an awesome day . And yes . Awesomely awesome . That's if you exclude the not-so-happy VJ match (yup we lost 8-12) , because it was a win-able game but we really messed up quite badly .

ANYWAY . Went early to S's birthday chalet with a disabled XY and his friend J early , right after the VJ match . Took a cab there because the old man XY would have died taking the bus :P . Settled in at the chalet really quickly and I rushed up to have a bath straight away without even greeting all the people there oops ! Played games and ate a mountain of food with all my friends , and yup basically just had a really great time there :)

And while being there with my friends , I realised how much we've distanced ourselves just over a year in JC . Well not all the people definitely , but many of my friends have gone different ways and it just made me think back of how we used to talk like we were still in secondary 4 . Even friends in the same JC have somehow drifted apart and I'm really glad that the little birthday gathering made me realise that I need to stop that from happening as much as possible .

And the bear-ish hug from S really made me warm inside (no im not gay) but because just for that instant , it was deja vu .

And I really miss HK . Because I sweat like a pig everyday here - -

“Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life." - Jack . K





Just a really sweet and cute song in my opinion ^o^

Just so that I wont forget , ever .

A week of happiness and solace .

I've never heard silence quite this loud .


This March holidays was probably the craziest , most exciting but also the most tiring and painful one yet .

Let's begin with the escape from reality - Hong Kong .
Yup , the full five days off the shores of Singapore have really gave me a chance to open my eyes to new landscapes , situations .

Yes , we have all learnt what a caldera is - basically a volcano that boomed off its top in an eruption . And the books which show amazing pictures of it are nothing compared to the real thing . Hexagonal columns of sheer granite towered on the left , while a gentle reservoir of water sparkled down the slope on the right . All twenty-five penguin-liked figures huddled together and trod down the muddy path in the incessant rain , leaving only footprints behind . The chilly winds and air pollution were no match for our love for geography . It was something that Singapore would never experience , well at least not in a hundred years .

And yes the tombolo . The Secondary 3 textbook merely showed a little sandy path branching out from the mainland to join to an offshore island . The real thing , was NOWHERE near what was shown in the textbook . It was rocky . With boulders and rocks strewn on the 10m wide sand path made it somewhat dangerous to cross but nonetheless , armed with our cameras , sketchbooks , desire to experience treading on such a rare landform , we trudged slowly , slipping , sliding , sometimes falling - all the way to the offshore island .

And the human part of geography . Our group took the MTR to the poorest and most underdeveloped part of Hong Kong to study the housing standards .

What the hell .

The buildings were practically crumbling . They were at nearing 10 storeys in height - without lifts . Whatever paint left on the buildings were already being covered with algae , and upon interviewing several residents of the area , we found out that a 500 sq ft apartment there was worth 2 million HK dollars - approx 300k SG$ . And in each apartment , there were at least 4 people living inside with 120 sq ft on average to themselves .

What the hell , seriously .

Urine on the stairs and the smell of decay hung in the air .
You don't feel pity for these people . In fact , they were smiling , and they did not carry the pungent odour from their houses with them .
You would have felt anger . A disdain for the HK officials who claimed to have carried out urban redevelopment across HK but not there . So much for implementing policies and raising standard of living in the CBD . Leaving the suburbs to rot isn't the way to treat a country .

I guess there are really many many many more things wonderful/worth remembering about HK but pictures would explain better . And yes , a certain someone kept using me as a windbreaker just because im a little tolerant to the cold there - - .

I've seen your wishes . And yes I still remember what 1212 signified . I opened the cupboard door and the Tigger doll tumbled out .

And the story of us looks like a tragedy now .

Touched down on wednesday morning , and thursday was the floorball camp . Gosh . I was practically dragging myself around on thursday and friday .

And during the camp , when I heard my juniors talking about their feelings about the camp , it got a little irksome whenever someone mentioned 'I dont have any good points' . And though there was a prolonging annoyance at certain individuals in the camp , it is heartening to see the leaders working together to pull off the camp in the end . Hopefully the juniors have opened up a little and realised that we arent really that terrible a bunch of people .

I'm sorry . While you may not feel that way anymore , I still do . But , I understand .

So many things I wish you knew . So many walls up I cant break through .

I'll probably never understand .

Because words hold too many different meanings . And maybe I misunderstood . Ah yes , that must be it .

I dont know .

Now I wish everything would return to normal . What an idiot I am .

Thinking less these days does help . And I guess stoning works too . Keep my troubles on hold while I fret over more trivial matters .

Incoherence again . I wonder why I tend to merely type clauses instead of proper sentences .

Organic chem test was a horror . Went in with a head full of information and lost everything halfway and came out with a head full of worries . There was a bit of drama after the test but I think its best to leave that aside for now to respect others' privacy .

A levels results and im heartened to see most of my seniors getting what they wanted , others having a few minor slips but happy nonetheless . But just sitting in the canteen and watching the little groups of cheery graduates made me feel bad for the isolated few who were shedding tears in the corners .

I hope the graduates will be able to pick themselves up and find a way to carry on running the rat race .

'Cause we're going down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

Of course it was a coincidence . Precisely why I called myself an idiot .

Remember December

3 months since it all happened . And exactly 2 months after if all ended .

I hope you are well .

Ok who am I kidding . With that sheer volume of stress built up and placed on your shoulders , it is hardly surprising that you complain about work almost everyday .

Think . Complaining doesnt solve anything , does it ? True , it allows you to channel your stress away even for just a temporary moment . But when you return to face the intimidating pile , you will only feel worse than before .

Still , I hope you are well .

Because I remember , we promised to make it through this year in one piece . So please dont break down into fragments yet .

Because wondering whether you have chosen the right path will mean doubting your past 16 years of your life .

This probably wont help but all the best . Hang on . Please .

I need a Blue Sky Holiday

-How many times have I told you , when sleeping in the mrt , always keep your phone in your bag ! But did you listen ? No ! You never listen !-

-I don't want to know anything about you and your phone already-

-Do what you want ok-

-You're a burden-

I lied . I never lost my phone on the mrt . I never slept on the mrt today . I never wanted to be a burden .

It was stolen from me .

Not only was the phone stolen . The trust , happiness , belief that I was a responsible person were all taken away from me .

I can't bring myself to say the phone was stolen , because a stolen phone , a lost phone , is still a phone gone .

The words hurt . They hurt so badly . You have no idea how much I cried on the inside . You have no idea how much I died on the inside .

To the person who took so much away from me . Thank you . Because of you , I can emerge as a stronger person . Thank you for that emotional hurt . Thank you for the inconvenience . Thank you for messing up my life .

Yet amidst these terrible events , I thank my friends who were there for me . Because of them , I needn't cry in public . I needn't bear the burden by myself .

The hug from E really took the huge load of my shoulders today . It made me realize how important friends really are . Because the friends I made were the ones who shaped me for who I am today .

And so , with such great people around me to push me forward , I cannot remain down forever . Just hope that everything will be resolved soon .

Seven Stars

The past 2 weeks sped by really fast and the next thing i knew - wham . Another week to go through . Not that it's a bad thing , if you remove tests , homework , school . Oh that's pretty much everything .

CCA and school has taken up the bulk of the time spent awake (which isnt a lot) . I used to have sleep-in saturdays . Now , i have sleep-in-till-7-am saturdays . And sunday is spent repaying sleep debt , going out with family and relaxing a little . Duhhh , obviously not much homework is going to be completed .

And something really crappy just happened .

I'm sorry if this was lame . Because I think it is . Shall repost the second part tomorrow . I need to shut out the world for tonight quickly . If not im going to go mad with all the screaming and hollering at me .

People disappear . Oh well , not like I didnt expect it . Just didnt think it would happen so quickly .

Remember that internet meme "I message a long meaningful message .. You answer with one word" . Gosh that makes so much sense now . So many people doing that . Not that everyone has to reply . In fact , I guess replying is already good enough for me . Maybe I'm just being a little brat who wants acknowledgement . Yes , that must be it .

Maybe I shouldnt bother anymore . I tried . I used to laugh at my friends when they had such messages from their friends . I don't laugh at them anymore .

And I do have a knack for proving people wrong . So just dont get me riled up . Because when I do , you'll regret ever having to drive me up the wall . So little time , so many things . Well , find time . 24 hours not enough , make it 25 hours then .

And teachers who really think highly of themselves . PLEASE . Dont . Especially to a certain teacher , your arguments are SO flawed that it pains me to bother to start a class debate with you . Your categorization of information is SO terrible that it pains me to take down whatever you say . Oops , I shouldnt use whatever since its slang language . 10 years of seniority does not make you a perfect being . Neither am I one . But learn your place - You're merely a pawn in this harsh society . You're used by others . You don't have a say .

Respect - you dont have it , you earn it .

Grr . This absurdity is driving me nuts .

And the rope just got a bit more tensed now .

Spinning round and round in this endless Cartwheel

I'll try my best to keep this blog alive by posting weekly at least ! It'll get dusty if I leave it too long alone so I guess I need to keep it clean and sparkly somehow :)

Alright the past week was quite alright actually . Surprising , considering how much i detest stepping into the grey-ish interior of *ahem* prison *ahem*(that was my bad cough and had nothing to do with the terrible school whatsoever) .

Kind of slacked away my entire weekend doing practically NOTHING . Like seriously . Nothing . Guess old habits won't die off that fast .

Anyway today's Monday . And well , as usual , it was like WIIM (Why Is It Monday :( !) Lessons were more or less the same - boring and dreary . Floorball PT just took on a whole new level of sadism today . 2 rounds warm up , 10 minutes of step ups , 6 minutes of plank hops, 200 lunges , 160 crunches , 160 leg raises , 8 minutes of plank , 160 superman , 30 regular pushups , 30 enhanced pushups , 25 pull ups , sprints .

And yes . I'm ready to crash anytime but cannot since there's more to be done for today .

Having some geography seminar tomorrow outside school from 11.30 to 3 plus . So that's like , no pe or gc for me yay ! :D Too bad I'll need to rush back to school for chem consol and training after that .

Oh well . At least it's going to be informative and interesting(i hope) !

And I relived my childhood after listening to this . It really took up a large portion of my life when I was just a wee child .



And now , back to reading the pre-seminar notes :)

I've never forgotten .

MY AWESOME JUNIORS ARE COMING TO NJ TOMORROW . Ok not that they've made a good choice but then again , it's the bad choices that people make which transforms the mundane life to something more interesting . :D

Going to have a mini SJAB gathering in school tomorrow with my juniors , hopefully they're still doing well , because 2 years of inevitable hell awaits them .

30.12.2011

Do you remember , just one month ago exactly , the abrupt ending to the fairy tale ?

Yes , you do . Well , so do I .

I don't think I'll ever forget that day . Well , I've been hurt , and I've hurt you as well . It will take a long time to recover . Maybe a year , maybe a decade , maybe forever . But still , life goes on .

And so , once more I tell you ,

-Love others like how I loved you-

Because you need people in your life to live .
Because no one can live in this cruel world alone .
Because you dont live for yourself - you live for others .

Love doesn't come to you . It goes to others . From you .

A Year of Mystique and Wonder

The lion dances , home visits , and random people wishing Happy CNY on the roads . What a wonderful 4 days of food , laughter and fun .

And now , back to the thing that starts with -s- and ends with -chool- . Sigh .

I guess the most exciting part of this year's CNY was meeting up at my very ATAS relative's house . And I just have this feeling that my cousin in ACS IB was like , from my primary school because we both exchanged the "WAIT . WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE LOOK" when we saw each other . And I found out that my aunt sells NJ shirts so that's actually pretty cool . I shall make it a point to get more orientation shirts from her *wink wink* :D

Anyway , my cousin who recently got married is about to have her baby in a few days time ! OO So eggsighted omgosh it's like a new addition into the atas family ! And she's still as awesome as ever . She spent like , 30 minutes slamming the government , and 20 minutes criticizing ACS boys , 10 minutes commenting on how engineering guys in NUS often go to the Arts canteen to check out hot girls . Seriously , when you have a gossipy cousin like that , life just seems more fun and less dreary .

My neck's getting better . But now there's fever and sore throat from overeating . I guess i'm prone to sickness and injuries . I sometimes wonder whether i'll die before 20 from all these - - . Touchwood . It's inauspicious to  keep saying "die die die" haha . Didn't really do any homework except for meeting for the MOE project for internal affairs with my classmate . And I must say , while it's pretty fun to think up of ideas and schemes , the amount of information we have is seriously too little . And it would suck to be slammed by debaters from other schools who obviously have more information through their teachers . Guess it's round 2 of project work gone wrong for us :(

Here's an upbeat song that kind of compliments this CNY .


Reason why I still use the oxford comma :
1) I had eggs , toast , with orange juice for breakfast .
2) I had eggs , toast with orange juice for breakfast .

Random but it really does make a difference .

Fly , Soar , And Sing with the Zephyr

It's been a few days since I last posted . Back here I am with more free time on my hands with the CNY break whew .

Ok first thing . I sprained my neck . - -

What a terrible joke , and the worst part of it was how I actually injured myself . How does one sprain his neck while running in a straight line ? Gosh , it was so ridiculous that I don't know whether to laugh at myself , or be mega pissed at my strange body . Anyway , I can't seem to move my neck properly even with the many wasted pads of Salonpas . Guess it'll take a while to heal , sigh .

And somehow , dragged myself down to Stadium for the hit around session with the seniors today . Armed with an immobile neck and stick , I had surprisingly loads of fun and laughter , as well as exercise that I would greatly need after all the luxurious eating yesterday . I'd go again if there was another session being held , because amidst the fun and laughter , friendships were forged and old friends revealed once more .

Too lazy for relatives' visits . But I still long to meet up with my cousins and all , because this is the only time where we come together to chat about news that we've been reserving for a year . And the goodies of course .

Music preferences . I like English songs , Japanese songs . But songs that have words can never fully express my feelings . Words are tools . Tools of language , tools of communication , tools of friendship , tools of hardship , tools of hate , tools of love . And still , they're tools . A piece of word-less music , that can truly reflect emotions , is a wonderful piece of music . No , I don't only refer to piano pieces , I refer to music . Just music . And such is true for the song below .



Sepia . A song that really brings out my thoughts and feelings . If the same kind of feelings are brought out in you , then you're a strange one too .

Does this song seem sad ? Yes , in my opinion . Happy ? Of course . Because when I set this on replay , I think back of the past , and sadness fills my heart . Yet , it tells me to never forget the past , the agony , the pain , the experiences , because they will always make up me . And also , it makes life seem .. magically happier .

Frolicking in the Present

Ah , how I recall the moments of happiness during the school holidays , the luxury of having more than 8 hours of sleep , the joy of having to not be academically active . Ah , i felt so very much alive during that period .

Now .

Back to the dog days . The dreadful dog days of schooling . Oh no don't misunderstand me , I dont hate school , in fact it's a great privilege to go to school . Just wished Singapore's top notch education system didn't have to turn out this way . Well , i guess i should stop talking about Singapore's way of things because it really doesnt help or change the current situation anyway .

Recently got roped into this competition by my classmates about Singapore's internal affairs and somehow , politics . Just read through the attached documents and decided to go with enhanced development of Singapore's efficient usage of power . Yeah , i admit , putting up posters on how to save electricity doesnt appeal to me . I can walk past a hundred pillars of posters , and in the end , still sleep with the lights on .

Education from young ? Yeah , good try .

If this is a platform for students like us to engage in a dialogue with the government , then perhaps this , will be a priceless opportunity to develop our ideas and come up with a great solution for the future and even at present . 

I shall take this chance then .

Other than this competition , there's also stuff like floorball . I'm not a leader , nor do i hold many leadership positions , and so to be playing for A divisions will be a big , big relief for my otherwise , very empty portfolio . Never have i once regretted joining floorball as my cca , and i dont think i ever will . Because these are the people , whom i actually trust more than anyone else in school , save for my sec school friends and pri school friends .

I will make it into the team . Only 18 more trainings to impress and after that , decides my future in the cca . I've already failed to get into exco once . I dont want that feeling of helplessness ever again .

And I've finally confirmed my dream job , after viewing pictures of majestic rivers and great lakes taken by genuine pros in photography during geography lesson . A journalist , or photojournalist , or maybe just a geologist . I want to come into contact with nature . I want to get out of the rat-race of society , to do what I really have passion for , and to make an impact with the articles i write , the pictures i take , and the findings i discover . Where there is time , there is change , and with every little change , comes a different outcome . That is how nature works . The ice age was never a threat or a death mark in nature . It was a natural phenomenon . The only reason why we consider things to be a threat , chaos , or even an apocalypse , is because we are afraid of these things that nature holds in store for us . It is simple to understand - take let's say , a python for example . Human beings consider it a threat because it is ABLE to kill us . Just how selfish and proud can we get about ourselves ? Us having bigger brains does not equate to us having control over everything .

How applicable to life . Having a vast scope of knowledge doesnt guarantee success or being able to control your life the way you want it to be . Yes , it is advantageous no doubt but ultimately , if one cannot adapt well enough to change , dare to voice out opinions and thoughts about sensitive issues , and feel comfortable carrying out his or her job , then that person is no more than just a robot , a tool , a living thing with a heart but void of soul .

This certain person even said this, 'Huh , such an easy question ? I can solve it in 30 seconds while both of you can't even do it in 5 minutes . You all got no brains is it ?' (And I begin to think , the fact that you're in H1 math already shows something about your handling of math , so don't bother flaunting your skills because so long as the A gets reflected on my result slip , there wont be a difference)

When people laugh about my subject combination , my bad grades for subjects like math , or even at me in general , I shrug it off with excuses .

Because I know full well that in the future , while you are busy slogging in the mundane office environment like a broken machine , I will be doing what I love . Till then , laugh all you want . Look down on me all you want . Outwardly insult all you want . I will take it all .

So thank you for fueling my interest and passion for nature , for geology , for nature's morphology . Because in my eyes , you are nothing more than a mere statistic in the world's population - whether or not you are there makes no difference to me .

To the people reading this now , you probably have this really bad impression of me now . Yup , this is the more emotional side of me which i will never show to normal people except to whom i honestly trust . Not displaying bouts of emotional stress will make me seem too abnormal already : P

Ok meanwhile , back to Respiration Part 1 and 2 .  

Strange .

I feel weird today . It's like suddenly i've been burdened with this unknown weight that appeared above me . Or maybe im still sick .

Had a thoroughly unproductive day and a rather fat-filled day as well . Downed 3 cups of paopaocha and now regretting it because my tummy seems to have expanded .

And so pardon this post , for it will be an extremely random one . With facts of course .

1. Women mature much faster than men .
2. 70% of men and 57% of women shower daily .
3. Every human being spends an average of 30 minutes as a single cell.
4. The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes .
5. All babies are colour blind when they are born .
6. Papayas are known as 'Fruit of the Angels' by Christopher Columbus .

CNY's around the corner , time to do some spring cleaning . Can't wait for the buzzing about to begin !

 

One week done , Fifty-One to go .

Whew , the first week has rushed by and there , gone with the wind .

It's been really tiring and all , but the looks and hugs on the first day of school when we all gathered back in the canteen , with sleep-disorientated looks on our faces , with undone homework strewn on the tables , and the desperate copying of answers to math worksheets .

And the bell rang for the first assembly of the year . Again , the frantic rush to the parade square before the second bell , and the worried looks on everyone's faces as the new PMs walked down the aisle . And then ..

NEW TIMETABLES .

Oh gosh . No more pw on the timetable really is awesome after all ! But omgosh seriously , all my H2 lessons with the main character of 'Tarzan' can really kill . First lesson and he's already out of the chemistry class for sleeping :l . Nvm , I shall walk the path of tolerance and pain to accept his constant nonsense . Just hope he doesn't be my lab partner for bio and chem :( please please please *fingers crossed* .

Accumulated homework . Heh it's going to be cleared by Sunday definitely . Shall clear chemistry by tomorrow in Catholic High . And practise floorball with the huge sheltered space there :) I think going back to my very very very open(because practically anyone can enter) sec school will actually help me get work done !

Frankly speaking , there's a lot that happened in this past school week but I havent really got the feeling of blogging all of it yet . Happy Birthday Jianwei and Gauhrie , you're finally 18 ! No more age restrictions for you so you can party hard after A's ! :D

Moving on slowly . Moving on . The past is the past , now is the present and just anytime later will be the future already . Memories are collected , stored , and recollected . I am no hurt no more .

It's going to be tough this year . Already i'm feeling the pressure of not getting picked for nationals . Which will completely make me sad because it will just mean , that all the efforts put in will be for nothing . Road run coming up too , and I'll aim to get under 16 minutes . Oh well , it's highly possible if i can get my lazy bum up and start running :l Shall work hard , play hard , and laugh hard . Laugh my worries away . Laugh , and live . Because life is honestly too short for so much worrying .

I guess NJ's canteen is really good because of the drinks stalls . One sells cheap milk tea , and the other sells fruits and ice cream . I mean , that's really random , but at least it beats just having the usual drinks . And I finally get to eat the rock melons and papayas after so long .

Ok this is really a random blog post on the main highlights of the week . Haha yes fruits are part of the highlight ;)

Here's a nice song that I find pleasing to the ears .

A New Beginning

A New Beginning . Yes , to this hectic , busy , stressful school year . I have to get used to waking up at 5am again . Horrible 4 hour sleep cycles once more , and this time with multiple loads of homework , revision .

I am going to go crazy .

And this year , i'll probably be more irritable , annoying and emotional than before . So to everyone around me , I'm sorry if you get the blunt end of my anger in this year . :(

You told me to give up .

I said I've given up .

And so I have .

But no , I will not judge you , because I have a part to play in you being hurt as well . And with those short replies each time you answer my messages , those - are good enough for me . Thank you .

With that , I wish everyone of  my friends , actually everyone , a very blessed and great year ahead !

My Condolences

At 17.25 , the cruel clutches of death tore your father away from you .

Pain . Suffering . Torture . All that hours spent inside the hospital . All the worrying at night . All the things you wished you tell him but never got the chance to .

It's over . All over . He was a great man , because you've grown up to be a strong , young man - someone who will fight against all odds to achieve his goals .

I don't know how to console you . But I will pray , dedicate this entire night of earnest prayers to you . Because , how tough life must be for you now . It is something you should never , ever have to feel , experience and live through .

Now , you will carry on the legacy . The legacy of your father . And you will stand up once more , bruised , hurt , limping , but nonetheless , proud of being alive , proud of being able to feel the pain , proud that you ever had such a great man as your father .

Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come,

your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

Dear Lord , may You grant him the power of tears , the power of goodbyes , the power of love . Please pick him up , carry him on Your shoulders , and walk him all the way again , just as You have done before . I ask this , through Your most holy name , Jesus Christ . Amen .

'I have fought a good fight , I have finished my course , I have kept the faith .' Bible , 2 Timothy IV , 7

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love." - Washington Irving
May you be strong . 

Sorry , I haven't slept yet .

Im sorry for blatantly lying about myself sleeping so early . Because I wanted to 'stalk' your blog . Ok fine it isn't really stalking since I linked yours anyways .

Staying up till 4 honestly isn't good for your health . I mean , you could complete all that questions half-asleep at 4 , but I dont think you would have absorbed as much . Of course , who am I to judge you when I'm not even taking a H3 and instead , a H1 . I don't have the right to command you to go to bed .

Still , I'll say this 'Stop staying up late at night , pulling your hair , and trying to beat time at a rat race' . Because it isn't worth it , compromising your health for a half-hearted completed assignment . I'm the one who made you lose so much time in the holidays , for that , I take the blame . And to make up for that , I'll prioritize your health over your homework . Sounds unfair , it is . Because I'm the one who made you suffer .

I'm the one who made you express yourself , yet I'm the one who prompted your closure of your heart . Soon after , you did close your heart . I'm sorry for lying about sleeping , sorry for opening up your heart to this wicked world , and sorry for making you turn cold once again .

Goodnight . This time , I'm not lying .

Brain says Move on , Heart says No

Guess no matter what happens in life , it still moves on . The Earth still spins , and nothing stops changing . People can't stay the same way forever because the less one tries to adapt to the morphing environment , the less he or she will be able to fit into .

Well , that applies to me too . The habit of last minute rushing is a bane and has always gotten me into nothing but trouble . Perhaps I should manage my time better . Hmm yes I think that will work .

Too much of something isn't good , yet too little of something isn't good either . And so you attempt to strike a balance between dominance and submissiveness , giving and taking , love and disdain , happiness and dejection . Am I wrong ? And in that process , you sometimes feel happy at certain points , and right after that , you feel strange about your happiness , and you doubt your sure self , and that happiness suddenly warps into sadness . Yet you are usually certain of what you are doing , how very , very unique you are .

Going back to Catholic High tomorrow to see how the assembly system has changed , and hopefully greet the teachers like old friends again . Can't wait :) Because it is only there , can I truly settle down , do work with pride , and feel the sense of belonging .

Dear My Friend

Dear friend ,

I am grateful for your existence , appreciative of your understanding , and thankful for everything .

:)

                                                                                              Love , Friend .

2012 , A New Beginning

2011 has gone with the wind , and the breeze of 2012 brings about a new beginning for everyone . If I start to talk about 2011 then I'm sure I wont be able to finish this post till tomorrow . I guess one word to sum 2011 up is .. 'Exciting'. True , there were many instances where school life became mundane , when the daily routine of waking up 4:45 or 5:00 , going to school , coming back home at 8++ at night , doing homework and repeating the same cycle , became irksome , annoying . It was as though I've been stripped of freedom , and I thought those days were long gone in secondary school , in year 4 .

Still , in those dreary days , I've found great individuals - great friends . And they have made school life less boring . I guess I should just thank them , because what they've done for me , been through with me , and time they spent for me is definitely a need to mention . So thank you , Mosquito , Gorilla , Zebra , Cuckoo , Gauhrie , Ian , Ziwei , Filbert , Ken , Yak , Giraffe , Squirrel ! If you haven't appeared , I would probably not even have survived one week in school . Really love you loads ! ;)

2011 - The year I met you . I've have had fun with you , laughed with you , and formed memories with you . 

However , I've never once seen you being sad when with me . Of course , that's great that you're being happy (I honestly hoped so , but of course I'm wrong once again) , because there were worries , problems concealed expertly beneath that mask of happiness . Don't get me wrong , I didn't mean it in a critical way because I'm sure you've had fun too(If you hadn't , then I have honestly failed as a person to not realize that earlier).

Conservative . Yes conservative is what you are . It isn't necessarily a negative trait - in fact , it's great . Because you can keep secrets well , and only reveal what you want others to perceive you as . It allows you to have duo-personalities . It allows you to adapt to situations very well . And yes , you know that already .

It could hurt people too .

I've been hurt , pained . Yes , I don't deny that because you could see that . There isn't a need to fake something that is real . Just so you know , I have two sides of me too . The chirpy side shows 90% on the outside , and the other , rarely seen except to my extremely close friends , maybe once ?

You said you hurt me , and that you're sorry . And you said you should have told me earlier to reduce the impact of the words . It's these instances where I get really frustrated , and after thinking for a day , I feel even more annoyed now . You tend to push people away whenever they get too close , and yet you felt that you should have told me earlier . That's ironic . The reason why you didn't tell me earlier was because you didn't feel that I was too close to you and thus , no need to push me away . It's as simple as that . Then why , are you even apologizing ? It's your personality , your true self that is showing itself when you push me away , and that's what makes you , you . There is no need to apologize for being yourself . The reason why we've been hurt is because we have become close enough to feel the pain . If we were ordinary acquaintances , those words would not have an effect .

We , are closer than ordinary friends . This , will not change no matter what happens .

You need to tell someone your worries . This will sound stupid coming from the person that hurt you , but please , tell your siblings everything . They are the closest to you , most dear to you and most trustworthy to you . You have your own problems and now , it is time to reveal them . There must be reasons for you to have this protective barrier around you , reasons for you to be wary of people , reasons for you to have two personalities . I can't say for sure what it is but if there is that word - Fear . You are fearful of people because they can hurt you with practically everything . It's true , isn't it ? It doesn't take a person who lives with only one parent long to figure that out . I've seen it happen - the heartbreak , the tears , and the nights spent in solitude praying , wishing that it wasn't a dream . Because when people you hold dear to you suffers , you automatically suffer with them , that's how we are connected . As you suffer , I suffer too . Vice versa .

Deleting your blog won't delete your worries . Your blog is currently , your only way to express your other side . Even if it isn't enough to vent your emotions , it still allows you to relax a little . Life doesn't work like deleting a blog . You can't delete people , objects in real life . Also , that only means you want to run away from reality . Yes , it hurts , because this is the new year and here I am , 'chiding' you on your actions . Still , I will chide you , scold you , just to get the message across . If you want to solve a problem , confront it . You've watched Digimon before , haven't you ? When the main cast faces with a tough opponent , they don't escape but face the enemy , with that trust they have for each other .

It's the same . If I'm the problem , confront me . If you are the problem , confront yourself . If both of us are the problem , then both of us confront it , together . Of course , it is easier said than done . And that is why , as I've always mentioned , I'll be there for you . 

Because I care for you , because I worry about you , and because I love you . 

Have a blessed and Happy New Year everyone ! :)