MY AWESOME JUNIORS ARE COMING TO NJ TOMORROW . Ok not that they've made a good choice but then again , it's the bad choices that people make which transforms the mundane life to something more interesting . :D
Going to have a mini SJAB gathering in school tomorrow with my juniors , hopefully they're still doing well , because 2 years of inevitable hell awaits them .
30.12.2011
Do you remember , just one month ago exactly , the abrupt ending to the fairy tale ?
Yes , you do . Well , so do I .
I don't think I'll ever forget that day . Well , I've been hurt , and I've hurt you as well . It will take a long time to recover . Maybe a year , maybe a decade , maybe forever . But still , life goes on .
And so , once more I tell you ,
-Love others like how I loved you-
Because you need people in your life to live .
Because no one can live in this cruel world alone .
Because you dont live for yourself - you live for others .
Love doesn't come to you . It goes to others . From you .
Monday, January 30, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
A Year of Mystique and Wonder
The lion dances , home visits , and random people wishing Happy CNY on the roads . What a wonderful 4 days of food , laughter and fun .
And now , back to the thing that starts with -s- and ends with -chool- . Sigh .
I guess the most exciting part of this year's CNY was meeting up at my very ATAS relative's house . And I just have this feeling that my cousin in ACS IB was like , from my primary school because we both exchanged the "WAIT . WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE LOOK" when we saw each other . And I found out that my aunt sells NJ shirts so that's actually pretty cool . I shall make it a point to get more orientation shirts from her *wink wink* :D
Anyway , my cousin who recently got married is about to have her baby in a few days time ! OO So eggsighted omgosh it's like a new addition into the atas family ! And she's still as awesome as ever . She spent like , 30 minutes slamming the government , and 20 minutes criticizing ACS boys , 10 minutes commenting on how engineering guys in NUS often go to the Arts canteen to check out hot girls . Seriously , when you have a gossipy cousin like that , life just seems more fun and less dreary .
My neck's getting better . But now there's fever and sore throat from overeating . I guess i'm prone to sickness and injuries . I sometimes wonder whether i'll die before 20 from all these - - . Touchwood . It's inauspicious to keep saying "die die die" haha . Didn't really do any homework except for meeting for the MOE project for internal affairs with my classmate . And I must say , while it's pretty fun to think up of ideas and schemes , the amount of information we have is seriously too little . And it would suck to be slammed by debaters from other schools who obviously have more information through their teachers . Guess it's round 2 of project work gone wrong for us :(
Here's an upbeat song that kind of compliments this CNY .
Reason why I still use the oxford comma :
1) I had eggs , toast , with orange juice for breakfast .
2) I had eggs , toast with orange juice for breakfast .
Random but it really does make a difference .
And now , back to the thing that starts with -s- and ends with -chool- . Sigh .
I guess the most exciting part of this year's CNY was meeting up at my very ATAS relative's house . And I just have this feeling that my cousin in ACS IB was like , from my primary school because we both exchanged the "WAIT . WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE LOOK" when we saw each other . And I found out that my aunt sells NJ shirts so that's actually pretty cool . I shall make it a point to get more orientation shirts from her *wink wink* :D
Anyway , my cousin who recently got married is about to have her baby in a few days time ! OO So eggsighted omgosh it's like a new addition into the atas family ! And she's still as awesome as ever . She spent like , 30 minutes slamming the government , and 20 minutes criticizing ACS boys , 10 minutes commenting on how engineering guys in NUS often go to the Arts canteen to check out hot girls . Seriously , when you have a gossipy cousin like that , life just seems more fun and less dreary .
My neck's getting better . But now there's fever and sore throat from overeating . I guess i'm prone to sickness and injuries . I sometimes wonder whether i'll die before 20 from all these - - . Touchwood . It's inauspicious to keep saying "die die die" haha . Didn't really do any homework except for meeting for the MOE project for internal affairs with my classmate . And I must say , while it's pretty fun to think up of ideas and schemes , the amount of information we have is seriously too little . And it would suck to be slammed by debaters from other schools who obviously have more information through their teachers . Guess it's round 2 of project work gone wrong for us :(
Here's an upbeat song that kind of compliments this CNY .
Reason why I still use the oxford comma :
1) I had eggs , toast , with orange juice for breakfast .
2) I had eggs , toast with orange juice for breakfast .
Random but it really does make a difference .
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Fly , Soar , And Sing with the Zephyr
It's been a few days since I last posted . Back here I am with more free time on my hands with the CNY break whew .
Ok first thing . I sprained my neck . - -
What a terrible joke , and the worst part of it was how I actually injured myself . How does one sprain his neck while running in a straight line ? Gosh , it was so ridiculous that I don't know whether to laugh at myself , or be mega pissed at my strange body . Anyway , I can't seem to move my neck properly even with the many wasted pads of Salonpas . Guess it'll take a while to heal , sigh .
And somehow , dragged myself down to Stadium for the hit around session with the seniors today . Armed with an immobile neck and stick , I had surprisingly loads of fun and laughter , as well as exercise that I would greatly need after all the luxurious eating yesterday . I'd go again if there was another session being held , because amidst the fun and laughter , friendships were forged and old friends revealed once more .
Too lazy for relatives' visits . But I still long to meet up with my cousins and all , because this is the only time where we come together to chat about news that we've been reserving for a year . And the goodies of course .
Music preferences . I like English songs , Japanese songs . But songs that have words can never fully express my feelings . Words are tools . Tools of language , tools of communication , tools of friendship , tools of hardship , tools of hate , tools of love . And still , they're tools . A piece of word-less music , that can truly reflect emotions , is a wonderful piece of music . No , I don't only refer to piano pieces , I refer to music . Just music . And such is true for the song below .
Sepia . A song that really brings out my thoughts and feelings . If the same kind of feelings are brought out in you , then you're a strange one too .
Does this song seem sad ? Yes , in my opinion . Happy ? Of course . Because when I set this on replay , I think back of the past , and sadness fills my heart . Yet , it tells me to never forget the past , the agony , the pain , the experiences , because they will always make up me . And also , it makes life seem .. magically happier .
Ok first thing . I sprained my neck . - -
What a terrible joke , and the worst part of it was how I actually injured myself . How does one sprain his neck while running in a straight line ? Gosh , it was so ridiculous that I don't know whether to laugh at myself , or be mega pissed at my strange body . Anyway , I can't seem to move my neck properly even with the many wasted pads of Salonpas . Guess it'll take a while to heal , sigh .
And somehow , dragged myself down to Stadium for the hit around session with the seniors today . Armed with an immobile neck and stick , I had surprisingly loads of fun and laughter , as well as exercise that I would greatly need after all the luxurious eating yesterday . I'd go again if there was another session being held , because amidst the fun and laughter , friendships were forged and old friends revealed once more .
Too lazy for relatives' visits . But I still long to meet up with my cousins and all , because this is the only time where we come together to chat about news that we've been reserving for a year . And the goodies of course .
Music preferences . I like English songs , Japanese songs . But songs that have words can never fully express my feelings . Words are tools . Tools of language , tools of communication , tools of friendship , tools of hardship , tools of hate , tools of love . And still , they're tools . A piece of word-less music , that can truly reflect emotions , is a wonderful piece of music . No , I don't only refer to piano pieces , I refer to music . Just music . And such is true for the song below .
Sepia . A song that really brings out my thoughts and feelings . If the same kind of feelings are brought out in you , then you're a strange one too .
Does this song seem sad ? Yes , in my opinion . Happy ? Of course . Because when I set this on replay , I think back of the past , and sadness fills my heart . Yet , it tells me to never forget the past , the agony , the pain , the experiences , because they will always make up me . And also , it makes life seem .. magically happier .
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Frolicking in the Present
Ah , how I recall the moments of happiness during the school holidays , the luxury of having more than 8 hours of sleep , the joy of having to not be academically active . Ah , i felt so very much alive during that period .
Now .
Back to the dog days . The dreadful dog days of schooling . Oh no don't misunderstand me , I dont hate school , in fact it's a great privilege to go to school . Just wished Singapore's top notch education system didn't have to turn out this way . Well , i guess i should stop talking about Singapore's way of things because it really doesnt help or change the current situation anyway .
Recently got roped into this competition by my classmates about Singapore's internal affairs and somehow , politics . Just read through the attached documents and decided to go with enhanced development of Singapore's efficient usage of power . Yeah , i admit , putting up posters on how to save electricity doesnt appeal to me . I can walk past a hundred pillars of posters , and in the end , still sleep with the lights on .
Now .
Back to the dog days . The dreadful dog days of schooling . Oh no don't misunderstand me , I dont hate school , in fact it's a great privilege to go to school . Just wished Singapore's top notch education system didn't have to turn out this way . Well , i guess i should stop talking about Singapore's way of things because it really doesnt help or change the current situation anyway .
Recently got roped into this competition by my classmates about Singapore's internal affairs and somehow , politics . Just read through the attached documents and decided to go with enhanced development of Singapore's efficient usage of power . Yeah , i admit , putting up posters on how to save electricity doesnt appeal to me . I can walk past a hundred pillars of posters , and in the end , still sleep with the lights on .
Education from young ? Yeah , good try .
If this is a platform for students like us to engage in a dialogue with the government , then perhaps this , will be a priceless opportunity to develop our ideas and come up with a great solution for the future and even at present .
If this is a platform for students like us to engage in a dialogue with the government , then perhaps this , will be a priceless opportunity to develop our ideas and come up with a great solution for the future and even at present .
I shall take this chance then .
Other than this competition , there's also stuff like floorball . I'm not a leader , nor do i hold many leadership positions , and so to be playing for A divisions will be a big , big relief for my otherwise , very empty portfolio . Never have i once regretted joining floorball as my cca , and i dont think i ever will . Because these are the people , whom i actually trust more than anyone else in school , save for my sec school friends and pri school friends .
I will make it into the team . Only 18 more trainings to impress and after that , decides my future in the cca . I've already failed to get into exco once . I dont want that feeling of helplessness ever again .
And I've finally confirmed my dream job , after viewing pictures of majestic rivers and great lakes taken by genuine pros in photography during geography lesson . A journalist , or photojournalist , or maybe just a geologist . I want to come into contact with nature . I want to get out of the rat-race of society , to do what I really have passion for , and to make an impact with the articles i write , the pictures i take , and the findings i discover . Where there is time , there is change , and with every little change , comes a different outcome . That is how nature works . The ice age was never a threat or a death mark in nature . It was a natural phenomenon . The only reason why we consider things to be a threat , chaos , or even an apocalypse , is because we are afraid of these things that nature holds in store for us . It is simple to understand - take let's say , a python for example . Human beings consider it a threat because it is ABLE to kill us . Just how selfish and proud can we get about ourselves ? Us having bigger brains does not equate to us having control over everything .
How applicable to life . Having a vast scope of knowledge doesnt guarantee success or being able to control your life the way you want it to be . Yes , it is advantageous no doubt but ultimately , if one cannot adapt well enough to change , dare to voice out opinions and thoughts about sensitive issues , and feel comfortable carrying out his or her job , then that person is no more than just a robot , a tool , a living thing with a heart but void of soul .
This certain person even said this, 'Huh , such an easy question ? I can solve it in 30 seconds while both of you can't even do it in 5 minutes . You all got no brains is it ?' (And I begin to think , the fact that you're in H1 math already shows something about your handling of math , so don't bother flaunting your skills because so long as the A gets reflected on my result slip , there wont be a difference)
When people laugh about my subject combination , my bad grades for subjects like math , or even at me in general , I shrug it off with excuses .
Because I know full well that in the future , while you are busy slogging in the mundane office environment like a broken machine , I will be doing what I love . Till then , laugh all you want . Look down on me all you want . Outwardly insult all you want . I will take it all .
So thank you for fueling my interest and passion for nature , for geology , for nature's morphology . Because in my eyes , you are nothing more than a mere statistic in the world's population - whether or not you are there makes no difference to me .
To the people reading this now , you probably have this really bad impression of me now . Yup , this is the more emotional side of me which i will never show to normal people except to whom i honestly trust . Not displaying bouts of emotional stress will make me seem too abnormal already : P
Ok meanwhile , back to Respiration Part 1 and 2 .
Other than this competition , there's also stuff like floorball . I'm not a leader , nor do i hold many leadership positions , and so to be playing for A divisions will be a big , big relief for my otherwise , very empty portfolio . Never have i once regretted joining floorball as my cca , and i dont think i ever will . Because these are the people , whom i actually trust more than anyone else in school , save for my sec school friends and pri school friends .
I will make it into the team . Only 18 more trainings to impress and after that , decides my future in the cca . I've already failed to get into exco once . I dont want that feeling of helplessness ever again .
And I've finally confirmed my dream job , after viewing pictures of majestic rivers and great lakes taken by genuine pros in photography during geography lesson . A journalist , or photojournalist , or maybe just a geologist . I want to come into contact with nature . I want to get out of the rat-race of society , to do what I really have passion for , and to make an impact with the articles i write , the pictures i take , and the findings i discover . Where there is time , there is change , and with every little change , comes a different outcome . That is how nature works . The ice age was never a threat or a death mark in nature . It was a natural phenomenon . The only reason why we consider things to be a threat , chaos , or even an apocalypse , is because we are afraid of these things that nature holds in store for us . It is simple to understand - take let's say , a python for example . Human beings consider it a threat because it is ABLE to kill us . Just how selfish and proud can we get about ourselves ? Us having bigger brains does not equate to us having control over everything .
How applicable to life . Having a vast scope of knowledge doesnt guarantee success or being able to control your life the way you want it to be . Yes , it is advantageous no doubt but ultimately , if one cannot adapt well enough to change , dare to voice out opinions and thoughts about sensitive issues , and feel comfortable carrying out his or her job , then that person is no more than just a robot , a tool , a living thing with a heart but void of soul .
This certain person even said this, 'Huh , such an easy question ? I can solve it in 30 seconds while both of you can't even do it in 5 minutes . You all got no brains is it ?' (And I begin to think , the fact that you're in H1 math already shows something about your handling of math , so don't bother flaunting your skills because so long as the A gets reflected on my result slip , there wont be a difference)
When people laugh about my subject combination , my bad grades for subjects like math , or even at me in general , I shrug it off with excuses .
Because I know full well that in the future , while you are busy slogging in the mundane office environment like a broken machine , I will be doing what I love . Till then , laugh all you want . Look down on me all you want . Outwardly insult all you want . I will take it all .
So thank you for fueling my interest and passion for nature , for geology , for nature's morphology . Because in my eyes , you are nothing more than a mere statistic in the world's population - whether or not you are there makes no difference to me .
To the people reading this now , you probably have this really bad impression of me now . Yup , this is the more emotional side of me which i will never show to normal people except to whom i honestly trust . Not displaying bouts of emotional stress will make me seem too abnormal already : P
Ok meanwhile , back to Respiration Part 1 and 2 .
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Strange .
I feel weird today . It's like suddenly i've been burdened with this unknown weight that appeared above me . Or maybe im still sick .
Had a thoroughly unproductive day and a rather fat-filled day as well . Downed 3 cups of paopaocha and now regretting it because my tummy seems to have expanded .
And so pardon this post , for it will be an extremely random one . With facts of course .
1. Women mature much faster than men .
2. 70% of men and 57% of women shower daily .
3. Every human being spends an average of 30 minutes as a single cell.
4. The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes .
5. All babies are colour blind when they are born .
6. Papayas are known as 'Fruit of the Angels' by Christopher Columbus .
CNY's around the corner , time to do some spring cleaning . Can't wait for the buzzing about to begin !
Had a thoroughly unproductive day and a rather fat-filled day as well . Downed 3 cups of paopaocha and now regretting it because my tummy seems to have expanded .
And so pardon this post , for it will be an extremely random one . With facts of course .
1. Women mature much faster than men .
2. 70% of men and 57% of women shower daily .
3. Every human being spends an average of 30 minutes as a single cell.
4. The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes .
5. All babies are colour blind when they are born .
6. Papayas are known as 'Fruit of the Angels' by Christopher Columbus .
CNY's around the corner , time to do some spring cleaning . Can't wait for the buzzing about to begin !
Saturday, January 14, 2012
One week done , Fifty-One to go .
Whew , the first week has rushed by and there , gone with the wind .
It's been really tiring and all , but the looks and hugs on the first day of school when we all gathered back in the canteen , with sleep-disorientated looks on our faces , with undone homework strewn on the tables , and the desperate copying of answers to math worksheets .
And the bell rang for the first assembly of the year . Again , the frantic rush to the parade square before the second bell , and the worried looks on everyone's faces as the new PMs walked down the aisle . And then ..
NEW TIMETABLES .
Oh gosh . No more pw on the timetable really is awesome after all ! But omgosh seriously , all my H2 lessons with the main character of 'Tarzan' can really kill . First lesson and he's already out of the chemistry class for sleeping :l . Nvm , I shall walk the path of tolerance and pain to accept his constant nonsense . Just hope he doesn't be my lab partner for bio and chem :( please please please *fingers crossed* .
Accumulated homework . Heh it's going to be cleared by Sunday definitely . Shall clear chemistry by tomorrow in Catholic High . And practise floorball with the huge sheltered space there :) I think going back to my very very very open(because practically anyone can enter) sec school will actually help me get work done !
Frankly speaking , there's a lot that happened in this past school week but I havent really got the feeling of blogging all of it yet . Happy Birthday Jianwei and Gauhrie , you're finally 18 ! No more age restrictions for you so you can party hard after A's ! :D
Moving on slowly . Moving on . The past is the past , now is the present and just anytime later will be the future already . Memories are collected , stored , and recollected . I am no hurt no more .
It's going to be tough this year . Already i'm feeling the pressure of not getting picked for nationals . Which will completely make me sad because it will just mean , that all the efforts put in will be for nothing . Road run coming up too , and I'll aim to get under 16 minutes . Oh well , it's highly possible if i can get my lazy bum up and start running :l Shall work hard , play hard , and laugh hard . Laugh my worries away . Laugh , and live . Because life is honestly too short for so much worrying .
I guess NJ's canteen is really good because of the drinks stalls . One sells cheap milk tea , and the other sells fruits and ice cream . I mean , that's really random , but at least it beats just having the usual drinks . And I finally get to eat the rock melons and papayas after so long .
Ok this is really a random blog post on the main highlights of the week . Haha yes fruits are part of the highlight ;)
Here's a nice song that I find pleasing to the ears .
It's been really tiring and all , but the looks and hugs on the first day of school when we all gathered back in the canteen , with sleep-disorientated looks on our faces , with undone homework strewn on the tables , and the desperate copying of answers to math worksheets .
And the bell rang for the first assembly of the year . Again , the frantic rush to the parade square before the second bell , and the worried looks on everyone's faces as the new PMs walked down the aisle . And then ..
NEW TIMETABLES .
Oh gosh . No more pw on the timetable really is awesome after all ! But omgosh seriously , all my H2 lessons with the main character of 'Tarzan' can really kill . First lesson and he's already out of the chemistry class for sleeping :l . Nvm , I shall walk the path of tolerance and pain to accept his constant nonsense . Just hope he doesn't be my lab partner for bio and chem :( please please please *fingers crossed* .
Accumulated homework . Heh it's going to be cleared by Sunday definitely . Shall clear chemistry by tomorrow in Catholic High . And practise floorball with the huge sheltered space there :) I think going back to my very very very open(because practically anyone can enter) sec school will actually help me get work done !
Frankly speaking , there's a lot that happened in this past school week but I havent really got the feeling of blogging all of it yet . Happy Birthday Jianwei and Gauhrie , you're finally 18 ! No more age restrictions for you so you can party hard after A's ! :D
Moving on slowly . Moving on . The past is the past , now is the present and just anytime later will be the future already . Memories are collected , stored , and recollected . I am no hurt no more .
It's going to be tough this year . Already i'm feeling the pressure of not getting picked for nationals . Which will completely make me sad because it will just mean , that all the efforts put in will be for nothing . Road run coming up too , and I'll aim to get under 16 minutes . Oh well , it's highly possible if i can get my lazy bum up and start running :l Shall work hard , play hard , and laugh hard . Laugh my worries away . Laugh , and live . Because life is honestly too short for so much worrying .
I guess NJ's canteen is really good because of the drinks stalls . One sells cheap milk tea , and the other sells fruits and ice cream . I mean , that's really random , but at least it beats just having the usual drinks . And I finally get to eat the rock melons and papayas after so long .
Ok this is really a random blog post on the main highlights of the week . Haha yes fruits are part of the highlight ;)
Here's a nice song that I find pleasing to the ears .
Monday, January 9, 2012
A New Beginning
A New Beginning . Yes , to this hectic , busy , stressful school year . I have to get used to waking up at 5am again . Horrible 4 hour sleep cycles once more , and this time with multiple loads of homework , revision .
I am going to go crazy .
And this year , i'll probably be more irritable , annoying and emotional than before . So to everyone around me , I'm sorry if you get the blunt end of my anger in this year . :(
You told me to give up .
I said I've given up .
And so I have .
But no , I will not judge you , because I have a part to play in you being hurt as well . And with those short replies each time you answer my messages , those - are good enough for me . Thank you .
With that , I wish everyone of my friends , actually everyone , a very blessed and great year ahead !
I am going to go crazy .
And this year , i'll probably be more irritable , annoying and emotional than before . So to everyone around me , I'm sorry if you get the blunt end of my anger in this year . :(
You told me to give up .
I said I've given up .
And so I have .
But no , I will not judge you , because I have a part to play in you being hurt as well . And with those short replies each time you answer my messages , those - are good enough for me . Thank you .
With that , I wish everyone of my friends , actually everyone , a very blessed and great year ahead !
Thursday, January 5, 2012
My Condolences
At 17.25 , the cruel clutches of death tore your father away from you .
Pain . Suffering . Torture . All that hours spent inside the hospital . All the worrying at night . All the things you wished you tell him but never got the chance to .
It's over . All over . He was a great man , because you've grown up to be a strong , young man - someone who will fight against all odds to achieve his goals .
I don't know how to console you . But I will pray , dedicate this entire night of earnest prayers to you . Because , how tough life must be for you now . It is something you should never , ever have to feel , experience and live through .
Now , you will carry on the legacy . The legacy of your father . And you will stand up once more , bruised , hurt , limping , but nonetheless , proud of being alive , proud of being able to feel the pain , proud that you ever had such a great man as your father .
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Dear Lord , may You grant him the power of tears , the power of goodbyes , the power of love . Please pick him up , carry him on Your shoulders , and walk him all the way again , just as You have done before . I ask this , through Your most holy name , Jesus Christ . Amen .
'I have fought a good fight , I have finished my course , I have kept the faith .' Bible , 2 Timothy IV , 7
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love." - Washington Irving
May you be strong .
Pain . Suffering . Torture . All that hours spent inside the hospital . All the worrying at night . All the things you wished you tell him but never got the chance to .
It's over . All over . He was a great man , because you've grown up to be a strong , young man - someone who will fight against all odds to achieve his goals .
I don't know how to console you . But I will pray , dedicate this entire night of earnest prayers to you . Because , how tough life must be for you now . It is something you should never , ever have to feel , experience and live through .
Now , you will carry on the legacy . The legacy of your father . And you will stand up once more , bruised , hurt , limping , but nonetheless , proud of being alive , proud of being able to feel the pain , proud that you ever had such a great man as your father .
'I have fought a good fight , I have finished my course , I have kept the faith .' Bible , 2 Timothy IV , 7
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love." - Washington Irving
May you be strong .
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Sorry , I haven't slept yet .
Im sorry for blatantly lying about myself sleeping so early . Because I wanted to 'stalk' your blog . Ok fine it isn't really stalking since I linked yours anyways .
Staying up till 4 honestly isn't good for your health . I mean , you could complete all that questions half-asleep at 4 , but I dont think you would have absorbed as much . Of course , who am I to judge you when I'm not even taking a H3 and instead , a H1 . I don't have the right to command you to go to bed .
Still , I'll say this 'Stop staying up late at night , pulling your hair , and trying to beat time at a rat race' . Because it isn't worth it , compromising your health for a half-hearted completed assignment . I'm the one who made you lose so much time in the holidays , for that , I take the blame . And to make up for that , I'll prioritize your health over your homework . Sounds unfair , it is . Because I'm the one who made you suffer .
I'm the one who made you express yourself , yet I'm the one who prompted your closure of your heart . Soon after , you did close your heart . I'm sorry for lying about sleeping , sorry for opening up your heart to this wicked world , and sorry for making you turn cold once again .
Goodnight . This time , I'm not lying .
Staying up till 4 honestly isn't good for your health . I mean , you could complete all that questions half-asleep at 4 , but I dont think you would have absorbed as much . Of course , who am I to judge you when I'm not even taking a H3 and instead , a H1 . I don't have the right to command you to go to bed .
Still , I'll say this 'Stop staying up late at night , pulling your hair , and trying to beat time at a rat race' . Because it isn't worth it , compromising your health for a half-hearted completed assignment . I'm the one who made you lose so much time in the holidays , for that , I take the blame . And to make up for that , I'll prioritize your health over your homework . Sounds unfair , it is . Because I'm the one who made you suffer .
I'm the one who made you express yourself , yet I'm the one who prompted your closure of your heart . Soon after , you did close your heart . I'm sorry for lying about sleeping , sorry for opening up your heart to this wicked world , and sorry for making you turn cold once again .
Goodnight . This time , I'm not lying .
Monday, January 2, 2012
Brain says Move on , Heart says No
Guess no matter what happens in life , it still moves on . The Earth still spins , and nothing stops changing . People can't stay the same way forever because the less one tries to adapt to the morphing environment , the less he or she will be able to fit into .
Well , that applies to me too . The habit of last minute rushing is a bane and has always gotten me into nothing but trouble . Perhaps I should manage my time better . Hmm yes I think that will work .
Too much of something isn't good , yet too little of something isn't good either . And so you attempt to strike a balance between dominance and submissiveness , giving and taking , love and disdain , happiness and dejection . Am I wrong ? And in that process , you sometimes feel happy at certain points , and right after that , you feel strange about your happiness , and you doubt your sure self , and that happiness suddenly warps into sadness . Yet you are usually certain of what you are doing , how very , very unique you are .
Going back to Catholic High tomorrow to see how the assembly system has changed , and hopefully greet the teachers like old friends again . Can't wait :) Because it is only there , can I truly settle down , do work with pride , and feel the sense of belonging .
Well , that applies to me too . The habit of last minute rushing is a bane and has always gotten me into nothing but trouble . Perhaps I should manage my time better . Hmm yes I think that will work .
Too much of something isn't good , yet too little of something isn't good either . And so you attempt to strike a balance between dominance and submissiveness , giving and taking , love and disdain , happiness and dejection . Am I wrong ? And in that process , you sometimes feel happy at certain points , and right after that , you feel strange about your happiness , and you doubt your sure self , and that happiness suddenly warps into sadness . Yet you are usually certain of what you are doing , how very , very unique you are .
Going back to Catholic High tomorrow to see how the assembly system has changed , and hopefully greet the teachers like old friends again . Can't wait :) Because it is only there , can I truly settle down , do work with pride , and feel the sense of belonging .
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Dear My Friend
Dear friend ,
I am grateful for your existence , appreciative of your understanding , and thankful for everything .
:)
Love , Friend .
2012 , A New Beginning
2011 has gone with the wind , and the breeze of 2012 brings about a new beginning for everyone . If I start to talk about 2011 then I'm sure I wont be able to finish this post till tomorrow . I guess one word to sum 2011 up is .. 'Exciting'. True , there were many instances where school life became mundane , when the daily routine of waking up 4:45 or 5:00 , going to school , coming back home at 8++ at night , doing homework and repeating the same cycle , became irksome , annoying . It was as though I've been stripped of freedom , and I thought those days were long gone in secondary school , in year 4 .
Still , in those dreary days , I've found great individuals - great friends . And they have made school life less boring . I guess I should just thank them , because what they've done for me , been through with me , and time they spent for me is definitely a need to mention . So thank you , Mosquito , Gorilla , Zebra , Cuckoo , Gauhrie , Ian , Ziwei , Filbert , Ken , Yak , Giraffe , Squirrel ! If you haven't appeared , I would probably not even have survived one week in school . Really love you loads ! ;)
2011 - The year I met you . I've have had fun with you , laughed with you , and formed memories with you .
Still , in those dreary days , I've found great individuals - great friends . And they have made school life less boring . I guess I should just thank them , because what they've done for me , been through with me , and time they spent for me is definitely a need to mention . So thank you , Mosquito , Gorilla , Zebra , Cuckoo , Gauhrie , Ian , Ziwei , Filbert , Ken , Yak , Giraffe , Squirrel ! If you haven't appeared , I would probably not even have survived one week in school . Really love you loads ! ;)
2011 - The year I met you . I've have had fun with you , laughed with you , and formed memories with you .
However , I've never once seen you being sad when with me . Of course , that's great that you're being happy (I honestly hoped so , but of course I'm wrong once again) , because there were worries , problems concealed expertly beneath that mask of happiness . Don't get me wrong , I didn't mean it in a critical way because I'm sure you've had fun too(If you hadn't , then I have honestly failed as a person to not realize that earlier).
Conservative . Yes conservative is what you are . It isn't necessarily a negative trait - in fact , it's great . Because you can keep secrets well , and only reveal what you want others to perceive you as . It allows you to have duo-personalities . It allows you to adapt to situations very well . And yes , you know that already .
Conservative . Yes conservative is what you are . It isn't necessarily a negative trait - in fact , it's great . Because you can keep secrets well , and only reveal what you want others to perceive you as . It allows you to have duo-personalities . It allows you to adapt to situations very well . And yes , you know that already .
It could hurt people too .
I've been hurt , pained . Yes , I don't deny that because you could see that . There isn't a need to fake something that is real . Just so you know , I have two sides of me too . The chirpy side shows 90% on the outside , and the other , rarely seen except to my extremely close friends , maybe once ?
You said you hurt me , and that you're sorry . And you said you should have told me earlier to reduce the impact of the words . It's these instances where I get really frustrated , and after thinking for a day , I feel even more annoyed now . You tend to push people away whenever they get too close , and yet you felt that you should have told me earlier . That's ironic . The reason why you didn't tell me earlier was because you didn't feel that I was too close to you and thus , no need to push me away . It's as simple as that . Then why , are you even apologizing ? It's your personality , your true self that is showing itself when you push me away , and that's what makes you , you . There is no need to apologize for being yourself . The reason why we've been hurt is because we have become close enough to feel the pain . If we were ordinary acquaintances , those words would not have an effect .
We , are closer than ordinary friends . This , will not change no matter what happens .
You need to tell someone your worries . This will sound stupid coming from the person that hurt you , but please , tell your siblings everything . They are the closest to you , most dear to you and most trustworthy to you . You have your own problems and now , it is time to reveal them . There must be reasons for you to have this protective barrier around you , reasons for you to be wary of people , reasons for you to have two personalities . I can't say for sure what it is but if there is that word - Fear . You are fearful of people because they can hurt you with practically everything . It's true , isn't it ? It doesn't take a person who lives with only one parent long to figure that out . I've seen it happen - the heartbreak , the tears , and the nights spent in solitude praying , wishing that it wasn't a dream . Because when people you hold dear to you suffers , you automatically suffer with them , that's how we are connected . As you suffer , I suffer too . Vice versa .
Deleting your blog won't delete your worries . Your blog is currently , your only way to express your other side . Even if it isn't enough to vent your emotions , it still allows you to relax a little . Life doesn't work like deleting a blog . You can't delete people , objects in real life . Also , that only means you want to run away from reality . Yes , it hurts , because this is the new year and here I am , 'chiding' you on your actions . Still , I will chide you , scold you , just to get the message across . If you want to solve a problem , confront it . You've watched Digimon before , haven't you ? When the main cast faces with a tough opponent , they don't escape but face the enemy , with that trust they have for each other .
It's the same . If I'm the problem , confront me . If you are the problem , confront yourself . If both of us are the problem , then both of us confront it , together . Of course , it is easier said than done . And that is why , as I've always mentioned , I'll be there for you .
You said you hurt me , and that you're sorry . And you said you should have told me earlier to reduce the impact of the words . It's these instances where I get really frustrated , and after thinking for a day , I feel even more annoyed now . You tend to push people away whenever they get too close , and yet you felt that you should have told me earlier . That's ironic . The reason why you didn't tell me earlier was because you didn't feel that I was too close to you and thus , no need to push me away . It's as simple as that . Then why , are you even apologizing ? It's your personality , your true self that is showing itself when you push me away , and that's what makes you , you . There is no need to apologize for being yourself . The reason why we've been hurt is because we have become close enough to feel the pain . If we were ordinary acquaintances , those words would not have an effect .
We , are closer than ordinary friends . This , will not change no matter what happens .
You need to tell someone your worries . This will sound stupid coming from the person that hurt you , but please , tell your siblings everything . They are the closest to you , most dear to you and most trustworthy to you . You have your own problems and now , it is time to reveal them . There must be reasons for you to have this protective barrier around you , reasons for you to be wary of people , reasons for you to have two personalities . I can't say for sure what it is but if there is that word - Fear . You are fearful of people because they can hurt you with practically everything . It's true , isn't it ? It doesn't take a person who lives with only one parent long to figure that out . I've seen it happen - the heartbreak , the tears , and the nights spent in solitude praying , wishing that it wasn't a dream . Because when people you hold dear to you suffers , you automatically suffer with them , that's how we are connected . As you suffer , I suffer too . Vice versa .
Deleting your blog won't delete your worries . Your blog is currently , your only way to express your other side . Even if it isn't enough to vent your emotions , it still allows you to relax a little . Life doesn't work like deleting a blog . You can't delete people , objects in real life . Also , that only means you want to run away from reality . Yes , it hurts , because this is the new year and here I am , 'chiding' you on your actions . Still , I will chide you , scold you , just to get the message across . If you want to solve a problem , confront it . You've watched Digimon before , haven't you ? When the main cast faces with a tough opponent , they don't escape but face the enemy , with that trust they have for each other .
It's the same . If I'm the problem , confront me . If you are the problem , confront yourself . If both of us are the problem , then both of us confront it , together . Of course , it is easier said than done . And that is why , as I've always mentioned , I'll be there for you .
Because I care for you , because I worry about you , and because I love you .
Have a blessed and Happy New Year everyone ! :)
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